okay okay

okay so I swear I feel like I have gained at least 10 pounds in the last two months...

so I again have decided to loose those extra pounds starting in January.

one of my resolutions again....

so having crepes once in a while is out of the question. no more chocolate which I love and cookies gosh I love cookies.

another thing I have decided to learn how to do is forgive. I am not very forgiving I take everything to heart, but maybe it's time to let go of my past and what has and had caused me a lot of pain. not sure if I will be able to do this since I am human and forgiving to me is like letting go of the pain I have lived with for so many years. Like loosing a limb. Like loosing a 50 pound bag that I have carried on my back for so many years. Loosing weight is much easier then forgiving. I am just being honest here.

I guess I just feel that if I forgive the people that hurt me they have won and have gotten away with murder, but my counselor states that is not the case. She says that I hurt myself over and over again since they have gone on with their lives. It's true they have. SUCKS truly. I have to really get myself ready for this and not sure if I can do it so I am not promising anything at this point. okay I got into this tooo deep and I really have not discussed my true feelings in such a long time and I don't want to start now.

I am so looking forward to 2012. 2011 was a learning experience. learning how to deal with my feelings and learning how to let some stuff go that we can't control.

2012 what will it bring? hope wonderful things for you and me...

I am on my way tomorrow to spend the whole weekend in downtown Chicago with my boys. Not sure what we are going to do.... Maybe the art museum or the planetarium. we will see and yes of course the camera is coming with.

Take care - Peace