Sunday, July 31, 2011

it's getting later and later and I cannot sleep.... toooo much diet coke... not really a good thing to drink when a person deals with anxiety... should of picked water instead.
so it's been a while since I have shared any of my crazy feelings.
I guess counseling and the medication have taken a bit of the edge off.
at least that is how I feel sometimes. I guess some stuff is better left behind in a small room under lock and key - dont you think?
I recently met this lady which for some strange reason the connection was made, a connection that came out of no where. she is so sweet always calls me georgeous. I truly don't think of myself that way but I go along with her cause honestly I don't know what else to say. She comes sometimes to my desk and gives me a big old hug like if we have been the best of friends for years... sweet lady. I saw her crying the other day not really knowing why. I did not want to pry. I got the nerve to ask her to lunch not to talk about her issues, but to let her know that she is not alone in her pain. We all have issues and things we like to hide or that we can't deal with. GOD knows I have mine and have dealt with them for so many years... have I let them go yet? NO not at all, maybe I am trying to let them go away slowly. not used to not have issues. they become a big part of you.
it's very hard to forgive and forget. my counselor says by forgiving it's not that you are saying that what they did was right it's a way of letting go. NOT SURE if I will ever be able to let go or if I will ever truly forgive. Maybe I am not ready to do so...
so somtime this week I will join this lady for a quick bit to eat, wish me luck. not sure if I will be able to help her or give her good advice. I just want her to know that someone does care even though at this point we are truly strangers.... sometimes strangers are better friends to be honest.


Patti said...

GOod Morning Angie! What a great post! I am a firm believer in "Everybody has their own story"- so much we never know about people. It sounds like your co-worker- new friend- is struggling a bit. I think it would be so nice if you did what you said you plan to- just to let her know she's not alone. I hear you about the forgiving part and all- and you are right- you are not ready to let it go because you didn't yet. You will when it's time. Simple as that (riiiiight :) I laughed about the Diet Coke thing (sorry) but I do the same thing- then wonder why I can't sleep or why my mind races in the middle of the night. Well here's to a beautiful Sunday... Enjoy, My Friend!!!

Michel said...

This ongoing struggle is tiring isn't it? I have a feeling that many of us are going through it. You will be a big help to that lady going out to lunch and just letting her know you care.

jlo said...

Hello Angie left you a comment in your april 26. Miss ya love ya.Give the boys and hug and kiss for me.